just thoughts

One day you wake up and that person you thought was your future isn't anymore. No more than a faded feeling.  Tired of writing about him and exhausted from living around him.  You wake up and you realize that you have endless energy for everything else that isn't him.  

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Quite frankly, comfort zone you can fuck right off! 
As a self proclaimed introvert this scares me and instinctively I want to say it and then retreat back into my self.  Just throw it out there and not particular have to do anything about it. But my internal wires are fraying and I know that if I do not re-wire myself I'll short circuit my life. A small implosion, almost undetectable but for the burn out, the faults and the lack of electricity.  In the comfort zone I can function but it's dimmed and it's dutiful.  I need to get out. I need to push my own buttons and I need to grow. Fully aware that I've got energy that needs to travel and touch much further than the switchboard I keep playing with. There are darkness's I need to light up in the world and there are flames I want to feel. 

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A love that can keep their hands off me.  A love that can board a plane before me.  A love that can shake their gaze at me.  A love that can stop contemplating with me.  A love that can stray too long from me.  A love that can sip victory champagne without me.  A love that can set foot in foreign seas across from me.  A love that can use humor as armor against me.  A love that can bear to break fairy-tales around me.  A love that can easily say goodbye towards me.  A love that can put up their feet and focus ahead of me.  A love that can do all of these but doesn't.