speed bumps

Choices in life. What does that even mean to me? Paths, meetings, serendipity, fate, forks, right versus wrong.  At whose standards? Our own, when we don't even know anything? Society, when we despise it? Intellectuals, writers, and gurus - they're all setting standards. But nothing in life is set. Open your mind, open your heart, be raw. Close your mind, guard your heart, it's all a war. It's all just a cycle anyway.

Happiness isn't everlasting.

To know what happy is, you need to compare it to sad.

The pursuit of happiness is what keeps us choosing.

You say if you would date anyone it would be me.  

You don't get to choose me. 

Uncanny wasn't a choice.  It just happened. Life happens. It builds itself up and breaks itself down. Cycles. 

You say you'd want me, but you choose not to action this. 

You say you'd choose me, but your actions are not what I want. 

I'm waiting but I’m not waiting to be available when you want to choose.    

  My stillness is my dancing.  My darkness is my light.  

You don't get to take that away from me once you eventually and selfishly have chosen.

I don't want you to be sad but I want you to be happy.  

You need to learn that comparison. This path you're on, it's your own.  

I'm not even an option. I'm not there; I'm not available at the precise moment when the cycle pauses.  Don't come to me when you're happy before the sad starts again.  Come to me when you've done a full circle, a few full circles and have learnt the comparison between sad and happy.

So choose, but not now. "Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought", and neither am I ready nor wanting to be a choice.  

  Sadness is raw, feel it - don't mask it. 

             Happiness is raw, feel it - don't abuse it.

It's the in-between that is hard. 

The space between feelings.  Neither here nor there, no speed-bump to startle you into making or remaking a choice. The in-between is when you don't have to consciously think about the choice, it happens anyway.  Only when your subconscious makes a "bad" choice do you have to assertively make an effort to get over the "speed-bump".  

You fail when you are just you in the hard place. 

Not happy not sad, in between. 

How many times do you want to fail? Are you a good person, subconsciously? If you don't mask the sadness and you don't abuse the happiness your subconscious will be smooth driving.